Generally speaking, I'm not one for resolutions and goals. Too often, I feel like chasing a dream is also chasing failure, and the risk is just too great.
I like Rachel of elephantine's approach though: listing things I'm looking forward to. It's kind of like a goal list, but feels a little different to me. So, in 2013 I am looking forward to:
Finishing my thesis. (I will do this, and it will feel fantastic when it is done.)
Opening an Etsy shop. (I'm finally just going to go for it.)
Starting a PhD program. (I really hope so!)
Getting serious about writing a novel. (I haven't told too many people about this one, but there it is. I'm working on a novel.)
Publishing some poetry. (Hopefully in more than just school-based publications.)
Taking up French again. (Super excited about this one.)
Learning more about photography. (My brother gave me a new camera lens for Christmas - whaaaaaaaat?!?! - and I want to take Apple & Arrow's lighting course.)
Travelling to Europe in the spring. (Dear budget, please allow this.)
2013, I have high hopes for you. Let's do this thing.
...I have to take a picture. Or two. Or ten.
obsession, n.
3. An idea image or influence which continually fills or troubles the mind; a compulsive interest or preoccupation; the fact or state of being troubled or preoccupied in this way.
I may have a bit of an obsession with photos of sunlight through tree branches. I hope this doesn't bother anyone.
I am now the only person in my program at school. It was never a big program, but the other two, for very good reasons, left over Christmas break. This was a weird realization, and to be quite honest the reality of it hasn't totally set in yet. I'm trying to make the best of it. After all, it's not like there is anything I can do. I just have to keep on trucking. But I'm also feeling a little bit exposed and insecure and just a little bit scared. I've always relied a little bit on my fellow students to keep my sane and grounded. There have always been people who could commiserate over stress levels, and that always made me feel less crazy. There have always been people to talk me down from the precipice of full-on panic attacks. So going it solo is a bit scary. It's like having the training wheels taken off before I'm really ready.
I look like a hot mess because I've been writing and editing hardcore for days now, but the thesis chapter (such as it is) is now handed in, which means it is officially Christmas break. Time to party (with lobster)!
Sometimes you just have to focus on one thing at a time. That's what I've been doing lately and it is helping me keep my balance.
