Vanishing Points

Maybe we are all moving toward our own personal vanishing points.

This implies a moment of dissolution, of being lost. It implies incompletion, the impossibility of finitude. It implies forward motion. And it's the motion that I'm beginning to think is important rather than the being found or complete.

Ten Things...Let's get out of this town

In general, my flight instinct is a lot stronger than my fight instinct. As soon as things get hard, I want out. Life gets stressful and I start dreaming about being anywhere else. This is only compounded by the fact that I really do love to travel. Consequently, I spend a good amount of time thinking about being other places. I daydream about what my life would be like if I lived somewhere else. This longing for other places often finds its way onto the blog. Here's ten posts that reflect a yearning to just get out of this town (and, yes, that is a reference to the Carrie Underwood song):

1. Wanderlust
2. I love the places I ain't ever been to
3. Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
4. Daydreams of Paris
5. The Siren Song of the City
6. The Power of Suggestion
7. Sunset on the Harbour
8. Getaway Car
9. When words fail
10. Fields

Getaway Car

Getaway Car

Ash Koley

Who let the cat out? Who's in charge here?

What's the latest? Am I supposed to be here?

Have you met him? Have you met her?

He's the greatest but she thinks she's better

Who let the minutes hold you hostage?

Who said their better when they haven't started?

I meant to tell you but you looked too tired

I meant to tell you but the race had started

Who shooting this pilot?

It'll never get made

Who wrote this song?

It will never get played

I've been here for so long I might as well stay

It looks as though things are never gonna change

And if the moment's hard to find

Or the perfect place to hide

I'm building me my very own getaway car

So introduce me while I'm floating

My smile feels tired and I think it's showing

Please excuse me, the water's shallow

I hear what you're saying though it's hard to swallow

I'll fight the currents, treading water

Why sink or swim here when nobody bothers?

They never tell you if you look too tired

They never tell you 'til the race has started

Who's shooting this pilot?

It'll never get made

Who wrote this song?

It will never get played

I've been here for so long I might as well stay

It looks as though things are never gonna change

And if the moment's hard to find

Or the perfect place to hide

I'm building me my very own getaway car

It feels like a play on and overcrowded stage

Every face in the crowd whispered words getting loud

Let the song set the stage, let the voices change

Cue the choir, let the violin sustain

Who's shooting this pilot?

It'll never get made

Who wrote this song?

It will never get played

I've been here for so long I might as well stay

It looks as though things are never gonna change

And if the moment's hard to find

Or the perfect place to hide

I'm building me my very own getaway car

Ash Koley is one of my latest musical discoveries. Plus they are Canadian (and you already know that I love me some good Canadian music). This song is off of their Blue EP and I have been listening to it on repeat for several hours now. Itunes describes Ash Koley's music as "spirit-lifting pop music that's occasionally festooned with moody fringes" and although this particular tune leans more towards the moody side of that equation, it is generally a pretty summary. This song kind of captures a certain mixture of desperation and concession that often infects my heart and mind.The music video does a perfect job of capturing that mood. I love the homemade quality of it. This is the exact kind of song I would want to sing while walking down the snow-filled, dead-of-winter streets. Something depressing or frustrating would have just happened and I would be determinedly facing the freezing cold in order to walk out my frustrations. Yeah. This song just makes a lot of sense to me right now.

Worn Out

Hey. Sorry about the hiatus I've been on the past few days. I had a minor meltdown Tuesday night and then I spent Wednesday, Thursday, Friday writing exams and starting the slow and unsightly process of moving back home for the summer. Half of my belongings are now at the apartment and half of them are here at my parents' house. Fortuantely, I only have a take-home exam left and then I am free and clear. The unpacking process will be ugly (it always is), but I'm looking forward to having an organized room (because right now it really isn't). I'm feeling a bit worn out. Four exams in three days is pretty nasty. Although I know people who had five in three days, so at least I didn't have that. This rundown house and beat up car seemed to suit my mood. Exhausted. Yet there is still something gorgeous about them that just cries out be be documented photographically. I am in no way implying that the gorgeous part is also applicable to me, just the worn out part (although the other day one of my roommates told me that it is unfair that I can spend an entire day studying, go write an exam, and still look good at the end of the day...). Moving on, this picture is from one of the Easter breaks that I spent in Champion. There is definitely something about small towns. I think it is best described as charm. Cities don't tend to have charm, many other positive attributes, but it seems that charm is a quality almost exclusive to small towns. I like it.