Starting again, again, and again

I picked up my camera again tonight for the first time in what has been an abnormally long time. And while there are a lot of issues with this photo, it's nice to be back at it.

Happiness is a line of gumdrops

Happiness is a line of gumdrops on the roof of a gingerbread house.

Happiness is an evening spent with a bowl full of candy, a piping bag full of icing, a goofy dog, and a friend you're so comfortable with that you have no need to filter out the weirder aspects of your personality.

If you can't get around it...

If you can't get around it, get into it.

I don't know where I came across this quote, but it's been bouncing around my head the last few days. I put it into practice this evening by tackling the pile of dishes while listening to jazz music and talking to my mom on the phone.

Parallel Universe

I'd been rehearsing this moment for hours, and I had outlined a hundred different scenarios. Mr. Jensen once tried to tell us that there existed somewhere a set of parallel universes, unreachable but real, where every possibility came true; whatever didn't happen here happened somewhere else, each option unfolding in a separate universe. But in this one world, at least, the outcome that morning was reduced finally to just this one version. 

-- Karen Thompson Walker, The Age of Miracles

Maybe in some parallel universe there is a Breanna who lives in an apartment that doesn't make her cry on a daily basis. Sadly, it isn't this one.

A Question for Y'all

I don't normally air ideas that I am simply musing about on the internet, but in this case I am making an exception because I need some feedback. I'm thinking about starting up an Etsy shop to sell some prints of my photographs. Is this a good idea? Would any of you buy prints? Do you know anyone who might buy prints? What kind of images would you like to see available for purchase? What kind of price bracket would you like to see them in? Let me know in the comments here, or, if you know me personally, you can contact me whatever way your heart desires.

Less-than-eloquent Thoughts

I am not feeling very eloquent lately. Perhaps I only get a certain allotted amount of eloquence per month, and I used it all up on that maid of honour speech.


It's been a couple of days since I got home from a jaunt to Edmonton, and I am still struggling to get going. It has left me feeling profoundly unlike myself.


As much stress and constant running around was involved with the wedding last weekend, I kind of miss having one single thing to worry about. It was a nice change of pace.


Taking photos out of plane windows has possibly become one of my new favourite things.

Happy Canada Day!

Or, Happy Dominion Day!

Yes, I am aware that this is not the Canadian flag. See, for the past few years I've spent Canada Day at places like Fort Edmonton and the Ukrainian Heritage Village, where they put on Dominion Day events. I therefore don't really have a time-period appropriate picture to post today. Oh well. I have history-buff friends who will appreciate this.

I'm off to spend the day in Halifax with some friends. I hope you are having a lovely long weekend.

Disconnect

I've recently become addicted to Instagram. I just joined the world of Twitter. I've been on Facebook for a few years now. I run two blogs. I have a Tumblr. I enjoy Pinterest. I am well-versed in the world of social media.

I text my friends pretty consistently. I use Skype to stay in touch with loved ones who are far away. I am almost always connected to my email in some form. My computer is on for most of the day. I am not technologically illiterate by any means.

And yet.

Sometimes I have an overwhelming urge to unplug everything, just turn it all off and walk away. I call it my "hermit urge." Sometimes I just don't want to be accessible 24-7.

I've been placed in a couple of situations lately where I was reminded of how nice it is to disconnect from time to time. I recently got back from a quick trip to Toronto, and it was kind of lovely to turn my phone and computer off for a couple of hours, to have no obligation to speak to anyone at all (aside from the precocious six-year-old who proposed to me on my flight home).

The flight from Toronto to Halifax is about 2 hours, and as soon as I landed I had 5 text messages. One was from the person picking me up at the airport. One was from a friend in Edmonton who I had been texting while I was waiting in the airport. Three were from someone trying to schedule a meeting this week. These were the ones that really got me. They were sent in quick succession. The first was a question about what times worked well for me. The second was a variation on "I need to know now." And the third was simply three question marks: ???. As soon as I read these messages I could feel stress settling itself back on my shoulders. I wanted to turn my phone back off and pretend I hadn't read them. In fact, I ignored them for a while. Eventually though, I had to respond. I sent an apologetic text explaining that I hadn't responded because I had been on a plane, all the while thinking that it was ridiculous that I had to excuse myself for taking a couple of hours to get back to someone about something.

I love that I can stay connected with people so easily and in so many ways. But sometimes it's nice to walk away from the constant stream of information, and to remove myself from the frantic race to respond to everyone whenever they decide they need me.

Of course, this works the other way around as well. I killed my phone a couple of days ago, and not having it was fun at first, but has rapidly just become frustrating.

Flying for the First Time

Flying for the First Time
Elenowen

Can't put out the fire with my bare hands,
not even I need to understand how
I'm getting there.

Said a prayer with broken wings,
hoping to move toward greater things now
and face the fear.

I'm drifting
closer toward the skyline,
looking down on my life,
trying to get just one thing right.
The second I stop second-guessing,
let go like a confession,
seeing what I was born to find.
Flying for the first time.

I was the kind who played it safe,
wouldn't take a risk or leap of faith,
not before the leap.

Fear has a way of playing games,
go a little, go your separate ways,
but as for me:

I'm drifting
closer toward the skyline,
looking down on my life,
trying to get just one thing right.
The second I stop second-guessing,
let go like a confession,
seeing what I was born to find.
Flying for the first time

Ran through the open flame,
barely escaped,
now I'll never be the same.

I'm drifting
closer toward the skyline,
looking down on my life,
trying to get just one thing right.
The second I stop second-guessing,
let go like a confession,
seeing what I was born
I'm drifting
closer toward the skyline,
looking down on my life,
trying to get just one thing right.
The second I stop second-guessing,
let go like a confession,
seeing what I was born to find.
Flying for the first time
Flying for the first time.

I put out the fire with my bare hands.


I mentioned yesterday that I spent my whole day listening to the new Elenowen EP on repeat. I am seriously obsessed. I knew I needed to post a song on here, but couldn't decide which one to pick. Seriously. The album is that good. But since I'm rather obsessed with these airplane window pictures (watch for another one tomorrow) lately, I felt like the first track, Flying for the First Time, was a good choice. Plus starting at the beginning seems like a logical choice. I mean, if I am probably going to end up posting all of them, I might as well work my way through in order so I can keep track, no?

Let's go on an adventure!

Thursday and Friday were full of adventures, which made for a rather delightful end to a week full of theory readings for my thesis. On Friday three of us jumped in the car on a sunshine-y blue-skies day, rolled down the windows and went for a drive. We originally intended to find one particular spot that we've heard really good things about, but instead we ended up getting lost and just driving around. Along the way we found this building that was absolutely falling apart, so we stopped to take some photos.

These are the kind of outings I associate with summer. Good friends, good weather, and nowhere in particular to be. I'm hoping for a lot more of these kinds of afternoons this summer.

There are days...

...when the only thing that will make things better is looking at cute pictures.

This week has been exhausting and it is only Tuesday. I'm only making it through because I have plans to meet up with friends every single day this week. It helps.

So, in case your life is shaping up to look anything like mine, here are some cute pictures to (hopefully) help you make it through. Exhibit A: A hawaiian rubber duck that was the wedding favour at one of the weddings I went to this summer. Exhibit B: An old post with some adorable dogs. Exhibit C: A picture of of a teeny tiny kitten. (I can't look at this without making odd squeaking sounds.)

Here

I kind of love living here.


This past week was long and difficult, but somehow confirmed for me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Songs for Late Nights

I've been pulling a lot of late nights recently. And I'll be pulling a lot of late nights this week. Such is the joy of this time of the academic year. Since you probably aren't all that interested in hearing yet another rant about a paper, I thought instead I would share some of the songs that I tend to have on repeat as the hours creep past midnight and there is no end in sight.

I Don't Feel It Anymore (Song of the Sparrow) -- William Fitzsimmons & Priscilla Ahn

Bloodbuzz Ohio -- The National

Re: Stacks -- Bon Iver

White Blank Page -- Mumford and Sons

How it Comes is How it Goes -- Jay Malinowski

Set the Fire to the Third Bar -- Snowpatrol & Martha Wainwright

Wake the Earth -- The Honey Trees

The Darkest Side -- The Middle East

I Won't Be Found -- The Tallest Man on Earth

Cicadas and Gulls -- Feist

Hello Grad School

Hello grad school, I'm Breanna. You're a bit scary, but I think I like you.

I kind of ripped that sentiment off from a friend. He just started law school, and wrote the same thing (substitute law school for grad school) as his facebook status. It made such perfect sense to me that I had to steal it for here. I hope he doesn't mind.

Orientation was Tuesday. Met some great people. Even though I was completely overwhelmed by all of the stuff I am required to do, in the end I am feeling far more positive about this whole experience. The excitement-fear balance is now tipped toward excitement.

For miles and miles

One of the really awesome things about Alberta is the space. Once you get out of the city there is just an abundance of room and air. I suppose this is true of almost anywhere, as I'm sure my friends from places like Ontario and Saskatchewan will attest, but having grown up in Alberta, I feel like we just have an abundance of this space. You won't run into trees for miles. Or buildings. It's just land and sky. And sometimes I appreciate this. I'm a bit claustrophobic at the best of times, but when I get stressed out I always want nothing more than to stand in the middle of one of these giant fields and scream at the top of my lungs. (And if you just read that and wondered how on earth a slightly claustrophobic girl came to love big cities...don't worry, it is profoundly confusing. I'm often a walking paradox. You get used to it eventually.) Space, room to breathe, is definitely part of iconic Alberta imagery. The fields that stretch for miles and miles are one of the first things I think of when I think about this province.

Iconic Alberta

As we were driving from the ceremony to the reception on Saturday, we rounded a curve and I said "Now that right there is an iconic Alberta scene." And it really was. This got me thinking about the things I'll miss about how Alberta looks. As someone who love photography, I'm always aware of colour and light and how it changes over the seasons here. Nova Scotia will be profoundly different. It is an absolutely gorgeous place and I am so excited to live there, but there are those moments driving down an Alberta highway that I am struck with how much I love this province. So, since I'm moving on Sunday, I figured over the next few days I would share some of these iconic Alberta scenes with you. I hope you enjoy them.


I love photographing rural scenes. I am a city girl at heart, but I love how the country looks so so much. Especially on a sunny day, with the blue sky, white fluffy clouds and green grass.

What Language Can't Reach

What Language Can't Reach
Patrick Lane

And the only way I know how to do that is to stand far off
as if on a low hill under a moon
watching a passenger train stopped
at a siding in the distance of a prairie night in winter.
In the snow and watching. That far away. That sure.


Sometimes things happen in life that leave you feeling ways that just can't be explained. No chance. Don't even try. Sometimes these already rather inexplicable events collide and suddenly you are left speechless. That has been my last few days. So the silence on here was simply a reflection of my general inability to really capture everything. This will have to do. And I think it does just beautifully.

Adventures in Antiquing

Today I took advantage of the fact that I had a four day weekend to do something I had never done before: I went antiquing. My parents and I hit up two antique malls here in the city in a quest for furniture for my new (although still theoretical) apartment. I found an adorable little coffee table and a positively gorgeous hutch. I'm rather excited about them. It's nice to think that I am going to be able to populate my little home with pieces I really love. That's really important to me. Perhaps it has to do with my desire to be surrounded by things I find beautiful, but I desperately want to avoid simply getting things because they are functional. Yes, things need to be functional; as someone who is relatively uninterested in chotchkies (with the exception of old cameras and typewriters, I discovered today) this is an important element of anything I buy. However, I want more than just functionality in what I'm buying; I want to actually find it lovely and enjoy looking at it. This might sound impractical and superficial to some people, but I firmly believe that if you fill your space with things you love, it will have a positive effect on your life. Isn't it so much better to have your gaze fall on something lovely that brings a smile to your face than on something that causes you to curl your lip? I think so. And that is why I enjoyed my antiquing experience. I know the things I found will fulfill this strange set of requirements. Plus, I got to spend an entire day looking at things that ran the gambit from gorgeous to kitschy to strange to amusing to downright ugly. It was a rather visually satisfying day.

This is one of my photos from our Canada Day excursion to the Ukrainian Cultural Heritage Village. Apparently my weekend had a bit of an antique theme.

Baby, I'm Back

I went to the gym tonight for the first time in way too long (unless you count several aborted attempts to start working out at home). It felt so good to be back. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with working out. While I'm doing it I typically think to myself, "Why am I doing this? This is awful." But by the time I have changed I feel awesome. On top of the world. It's a feeling I've missed for a long time. And I can't wait to start to feel good about myself again. Watch out world, I'm starting a comeback.

PS - My dear friend is super athletic and these were her wedding shoes. How great is that?

Sleep

Sleep
Eric Whitacre

The evening hangs beneath the moon,
A silver thread on darkened dune.
With closing eyes and resting head
I know that sleep is coming soon.

Upon my pillow, safe in bed,
A thousand pictures fill my head.
I cannot sleep my mind's aflight
And yet my limbs seem made of lead.

If there are noises in the night
A frightening shadow, flickering light,
Then I surrender unto sleep,
Where clouds of dream give second sight.

What dreams may come both dark and deep,
Of flying wings and soaring leap,
As I surrender unto sleep
As I surrender unto sleep
As I surrender unto sleep
Sleep.


A friend posted a link to this TED talk on facebook today. My dad had told me about it a few months ago, but I didn't realize until today that the conductor/composer he was talking about was Eric Whitacre. Watch the video. He is amazing. (Plus, as my father points out, he looks like a movie star.) And then go and watch the virtual choir singing "Sleep." I adore Whitacre's pieces. We sang a couple of them in choir and they were absolutely arresting. They are the kinds of songs that one must be intimate with as a singer. They wrap themselves around you. They tug at my soul, cause my heart to leap into my throat and tears to sting my eyes. They are profoundly beautiful works. If you are at all someone who enjoys choral music, please do yourself the favour of listening to some of his work. I cannot say enough good things about it