Give Me Fog

If I had to pick a favourite weather-related phenomenon, it would probably be fog. I think it is simply gorgeous. Every time I come across it I feel as if my heart and soul are deeply satisfied. There are very few weather patterns that do this for me. I am not one of those people who always wants sunshine and heat, I only enjoy snow for brief periods of time, biting cold is only okay when I can curl up inside with friends or a book, rain is wonderful until I have to walk a long way...but fog, fog and I are always friends. Sure, it wreaks havoc with my hair, but I love it anyway. I love the mystery of it. I love the comfort of it. I love the staggering beauty of it.

When I left the pub last night the entire town was blanketed in fog. It was beautiful, and I wished with everything in me that I had my camera with me. Since I didn't, I just walked home as slowly as possible, enjoying every second of it.

Late Nights and Early Mornings

With the end of the term upon us, I've been seeing a lot of this intermediary time. Those wee little hours that are ostensibly morning but feel more like night. Those hours where everything seems a little surreal. Where everything is both less important and more intense. This feels a little bit like a homecoming for me. These hours are my most natural habitat. They are when I am the most creative, the most verbose, the most gregarious, the most connected with myself and my world. They are also when I am at my most vulnerable, my most melancholy, my most contemplative. It's a strange existence for a strange time.

What Language Can't Reach

What Language Can't Reach
Patrick Lane

And the only way I know how to do that is to stand far off
as if on a low hill under a moon
watching a passenger train stopped
at a siding in the distance of a prairie night in winter.
In the snow and watching. That far away. That sure.


Sometimes things happen in life that leave you feeling ways that just can't be explained. No chance. Don't even try. Sometimes these already rather inexplicable events collide and suddenly you are left speechless. That has been my last few days. So the silence on here was simply a reflection of my general inability to really capture everything. This will have to do. And I think it does just beautifully.

Daily Magic

Sunsets are the exclamation marks that end the day. And they are especially memorable when we are on vacation and actually have time to sit and enjoy the spectacle of the sun sinking into something other than a sea of rush-hour traffic.

We love sunsets because we love their bold drama, almost kitschy with all those oranges and reds. The angle of light throws everything - from palm trees to elephants - into silhouette. Photographers know the best sunsets have some clouds onstage to give those rays a wispy canvas on which to paint.

Then there's the grand finale, the visual equivalent of a musical crescendo, when the yolk melts into the ocean or cracks against a mountain ridge. And finally comes silence. Soft purples and a big sigh flood the landscape, and I often find myself wanting to applaud.

Those three paragraphs, a clipping from an article in the travel section, have been tacked to my bulletin board since some time in high school. I am a sucker for sunsets and this writer captured the sensation of watching one of these daily magical events.

I'll never regret...

I was reminded again tonight that I never regret making time to spend with friends. I kind of wish I could have given my freshman self this advice: sometimes you just need to step away from the paper and have some fun.

(No, I did not go to the beach today. I live in Alberta and it is March. Getting to a beach involves planes. This picture is from several years ago in Mexico.)

This is Calm

This is Calm

Christopher Dallman

So this is calm.

Should I feel optimistic?

Should I greet the sun with a smile?

‘Cause as it is

I roll to my side

And I lay there for a good long while.

So this is calm.

Should I feel okay?

And should this okay set my inspiration reeling?

Should I feel like I am pulled in all directions?

I feel no pull.

I feel nothing.

I ride the train from Queens to Morningside.

I keep my eyes straight ahead,

Keep my face dignified.

But is this linear or a downward slide?

This is calm.

This is calm.

When I asked you to leave

You threw your wine at the wall

And it bled down

Red on white.

My stomach did not turn,

And I could not match your tears.

I just stood there thinking,

“What a beautiful sight.”

I ride the train from Queens to Morningside.

I keep my eyes straight ahead,

Keep my face dignified.

But is this linear or a downward slide?

This is calm.

I guess I should feel like I can do anything,

But I can’t do anything at all.

I can’t do anything but fall down on my knees

At the whims of my dreams.

I can not do this to myself anymore,

Stay so strong.

Still, this is my voice.

I wonder why I can’t feel this.

I wonder why I can’t feel this.

I wonder why I can’t feel these questions in my throat.

I don’t know how,

I don’t know how to live,

But I will learn to live,

To stand,

To breathe,

To taste,

To love.

I will move on.

I ride the train from Queens to Morningside.

I keep my eyes straight ahead,

Keep my face dignified.

But is this linear or a downward slide?

I felt very calm all day today. While I enjoy being calm, there is always a part of me that finds it odd. I'm naturally a relatively high-strung person, so I spend a lot of my time stressed out and running on overdrive. For some reason though I was completely calm today despite being at work. It was kind of interesting. I love this song by Christopher Dallman. He has genuinely gorgeous songs, this particular one is from his "Race the Light" CD. If you've never heard his stuff you should definitely check it out. The lyrics of every song are poignant and beautiful and the instrumental arrangements are fabulous. I like that this song captures the strangeness of feeling calm. It's like you've forgotten something and you aren't quite sure whether it is a good thing that you are so calm.

I took this picture in Victoria last summer. Despite living in a landlocked city and not being someone with a fondness for beaches or swimming, I love being on the coast. There is something about the feeling of salty ocean air as the sun sets and the temperature drops that just can't be replicated anywhere else. I am always at my most content at sunset and twilight. I don't know why, but the world just seems to pause and take a giant, calming breath as the sun sets. Things melt away and the promise of a new day begins to creep in. I love that sensation. So, a picture of a sunset over the ocean seemed to capture the serenity I'm feeling right now.

Not Wanted on the Voyage

I'm currently working on the outline for my literary theory paper, which is on Timothy Findley's novel, Not Wanted on the Voyage and feminist theory. Not the world's most stimulating topic, but also not the most boring topic I've written on, so I'll survive. Anyway. Since the novel is a feminist/postcolonial/ecocritical rewrite of the flood narrative from Genesis, most of it involves a rather large boat. Not nearly as pretty as this one, according to the novel anyway, the Bible doesn't really specify how pretty the ark was, just how to build it. As a result, I have boats on the mind. As I was trolling through my pictures from various trips to places near water I came across this one from my trip to Nova Scotia in 2008. I actually didn't know that I had this picture, but I am definitely a fan of it. I love how the blue of the ship and the red of the flag just pop against the greyish background. I actually posted a picture of this ship's masts and rigging a few weeks ago. Sorry this is such a short post. I keep getting great ideas for posts I could do but they all take some time to put together, so until I have made it through the rest of the semester I'll just have to keep those ideas on the back burner. I should probably write them down somewhere otherwise they are likely to get lost in the upcoming cramming for finals. All right. Back to the outline!

She the Ocean

She the Ocean
by: The Barra MacNeils

He had a way with children
They'd all gather round
To play silly games
He gave from the heart
Sharing their lives he knew so well

She had to paint the seagulls
Watch their feathers
Ruffle in the wind
She was obsessed with motion
Or was it the notion of living by the sea

He loved the prairie
She the ocean where they married
By the tide she would stay
He in a wheat field
Cutting the hay

He lived from the land
Reaping the gifts
He sowed by hand
She stayed the sea
Caressed by the breeze and the touch of the sand

There came a day that he would travel
To his lover
On the shore
She would see her children
On the prairie they'd live no more

He loved the prairie
She the ocean where they married
By the tide she would stay
He in a wheat field
Cutting the hay

He loved the prairie
She the ocean where they married
By the tide she would stay
He in a wheat field
Cutting the hay

Now he loves the seagulls
Watch their movements
On the ocean
She loves her children
Kiss them softly into sleep

For the past week I have been listening to The Barra MacNeils pretty much non-stop. Also, The Rankin Family, Great Big Sea, and Darrell Keigan, none of which are really much of a departure. "She the Ocean" is probably one of my all time favorite songs by The Barra MacNeils. I couldn't explain to you why, since I am not someone from the ocean, nor am I really a beach person, nor do I like seagulls (in fact, they, like all birds, terrify me). Regardless of this fact, something about this song sucks me in every time. It's mostly the second verse (She had to paint the seagulls / Watch their feathers / Ruffle in the wind / She was obsessed with motion / Or was it the notion of living by the sea) that randomly will pop into my head. And it made me think of this picture that I took of a seagull sitting on a windy beach. This picture is actually on a beach outside of LA. I was sitting there, minding my own business, and this seagull decided I would be a good person to hang out with. I disagreed, but grabbed my camera anyway. It was really (and I do mean REALLY) windy on the beach, and actually fairly chilly, but that is kind of the way I prefer my beaches. I'm weird, I know.