This is Calm

This is Calm

Christopher Dallman

So this is calm.

Should I feel optimistic?

Should I greet the sun with a smile?

‘Cause as it is

I roll to my side

And I lay there for a good long while.

So this is calm.

Should I feel okay?

And should this okay set my inspiration reeling?

Should I feel like I am pulled in all directions?

I feel no pull.

I feel nothing.

I ride the train from Queens to Morningside.

I keep my eyes straight ahead,

Keep my face dignified.

But is this linear or a downward slide?

This is calm.

This is calm.

When I asked you to leave

You threw your wine at the wall

And it bled down

Red on white.

My stomach did not turn,

And I could not match your tears.

I just stood there thinking,

“What a beautiful sight.”

I ride the train from Queens to Morningside.

I keep my eyes straight ahead,

Keep my face dignified.

But is this linear or a downward slide?

This is calm.

I guess I should feel like I can do anything,

But I can’t do anything at all.

I can’t do anything but fall down on my knees

At the whims of my dreams.

I can not do this to myself anymore,

Stay so strong.

Still, this is my voice.

I wonder why I can’t feel this.

I wonder why I can’t feel this.

I wonder why I can’t feel these questions in my throat.

I don’t know how,

I don’t know how to live,

But I will learn to live,

To stand,

To breathe,

To taste,

To love.

I will move on.

I ride the train from Queens to Morningside.

I keep my eyes straight ahead,

Keep my face dignified.

But is this linear or a downward slide?

I felt very calm all day today. While I enjoy being calm, there is always a part of me that finds it odd. I'm naturally a relatively high-strung person, so I spend a lot of my time stressed out and running on overdrive. For some reason though I was completely calm today despite being at work. It was kind of interesting. I love this song by Christopher Dallman. He has genuinely gorgeous songs, this particular one is from his "Race the Light" CD. If you've never heard his stuff you should definitely check it out. The lyrics of every song are poignant and beautiful and the instrumental arrangements are fabulous. I like that this song captures the strangeness of feeling calm. It's like you've forgotten something and you aren't quite sure whether it is a good thing that you are so calm.

I took this picture in Victoria last summer. Despite living in a landlocked city and not being someone with a fondness for beaches or swimming, I love being on the coast. There is something about the feeling of salty ocean air as the sun sets and the temperature drops that just can't be replicated anywhere else. I am always at my most content at sunset and twilight. I don't know why, but the world just seems to pause and take a giant, calming breath as the sun sets. Things melt away and the promise of a new day begins to creep in. I love that sensation. So, a picture of a sunset over the ocean seemed to capture the serenity I'm feeling right now.