Balancing Act

Just in case several of my recent posts (such as this or this) haven't tipped you off, I am here to tell you that I am deep into end of semester insanity. The kind where hysterics are a daily event (whether these are of the laughing or crying variety depends on the day). The kind where sleep has become a thing fondly remembered but rarely experienced. The kind where every so often as you are walking along you are hit with a massive wave of panic. The kind where your desk is so buried under papers and books that you aren't actually sure what it looks like anymore. The kind where this disastrous state of your desk accurately reflects your mental state. This state of affairs is not helped by the fact that this year I am attempting to balance school and work. While I need the job and actually don't mind it, there are many days when I wish I could quit just to save my sanity. I am not good at balancing school and work. I figured this out in second year and it is why I didn't work in third year. I knew it was going to be tricky this year, but I had hoped I wouldn't hit this point in the year and feel like I was going insane. Sadly, this is not the case. Most days I feel like one of those plate spinners desperately trying not to let anything fall. I have taken to only focusing on one thing at a time. If I look at my to do list I get some serious waves of sheer panic. Despite all of this I am doing remarkably well though. So don't freak out. Trust me, I am doing more than enough of that on my own. I don't need any help.

I took this picture in Jasper a couple of years ago. We were walking along a trail around a lake and all of a sudden this little structure appeared as we rounded a corner. Someone must have waded out and made it. I liked how it looked with the lone stone perched atop of the pile seeming to float above the water. This is actually how I feel right now. Yeah, my life is an insane balancing act, and most days I feel like I'm losing it, but there is something grounding me and keeping me from completely falling apart. It's hidden beneath the surface of my crazy life, but it is keeping me from sinking under the insanity.