Contemplative Moods

contemplation (n)
1 the action of looking thoughtfully at something for a long time
2 deep reflective thought
3 [in Christian spirituality] a form of prayer or meditation in which a person seeks to pass beyond mental images and concepts to a direct experience of the divine

I am one of those people who easily gets wrapped up in their own thoughts. I have a tendency to get kind of stuck in my own head. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Generally this has been a good thing. I'm wrestling with some big topics, but I am also kind of loving this process. However, sometimes the tendency to get stuck in my head is not a good thing. This side of thinking seems to emerge a lot when I have time on my hands. I dwell on things. I mull them over endlessly. I obsess. I get stuck on tiny details. I overanalyze. Some of these skills are really useful and make me an academic through and through. Like any good thing though, there is such a thing as too much of this. I get into my head. I stop wanting to go out and experience the world. I stop wanting to socialize. All I do is think. This usually ends with me in tears over something or other (I tend to be a bit overemotional. I cry over everything.) Holidays are the worst culprits for bringing this side of me out. It has to do with the giant chucks of time in which I am not required to be doing anything. I don't handle doing nothing well, so instead I start in on these ridiculous trains of thought and just get lost in them. Fortunately this Christmas break has been so busy that I seriously haven't had time to get too mired in my thought process. This isn't to say that I'm not contemplative. I certainly am. I'm almost re-reading The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje and have just started in on Rilke's Letters To A Young Poet. I bought myself a copy of Seamus Heaney's translation of Beowulf. I'm considering my plans for next year. I'm taking a very careful look at my faith and beliefs. The thing is that this is all healthy thinking. Contemplation in it's most beautiful form. I like that one of the definitions of contemplation has to do with spiritual practice and seeking the divine. Just one more way that that word is absolutely perfect for what is going on in my head lately.

This photo has been my computer background for a while now. I just love staring at it. I've said this about other photos before, but I feel like this photo has ridiculous amounts of meaning captured in it. Perhaps this is simply my openness to beauty and meaning lately, but I have a hunch that there is something more at work. Just another thing to contemplate.