Deep Thinking

Perhaps it is because of all the papers I have been writing lately. Perhaps it is because I’ve started talking with people that I can have honest and meaningful conversations with. I’m not really sure of the reason, but the fact is that I have been thinking deeply lately. And thinking carefully. Contemplating would be a good word for it. I consider what I have to say before I say it. I find myself mulling over big topics: love, language, transformation, the nature of the self, theological issues, my faith, happiness, the importance of art…some of these are generated by classes I’m in and papers I am writing, but others stem from conversations. Sometimes I start in one place and end up somewhere completely different that is even deeper and more thoughtful than where I started. As much as I love this kind of thinking, I am finding that my brain is starting to feel like an overloaded wagon. I am trying to drag this wagon, which is storing all of my thoughts and ideas, which I need to take with me and hang onto, but it is getting too heavy. It’s slowing me down. I can’t keep up with class discussions. By the time I arrive at the place the conversation was, it has moved on and I am still falling behind. I carefully consider my responses. I know this is a good practice, but it means that conversations do not happen in the usual rapid-fire manner. Instead they are characterized by pauses and phrases that seemingly have no connection to what came before. Conversations don’t end. They keep popping up. A cavernous pause will cause a topic to be set down for a time, but then I pick it up again and start lobbing it around again. I’m not saying that these conversations haven’t been fantastic. They have been wonderful and edifying and have been peppered with insightful moments. I actually wish that all of my conversations could be like this.

Last night I realized just how much I have been thinking lately. I went to post a blog entry and suddenly thought to myself “I have nothing to say.” This morning though, I realized that the point of this blog is to share my photography. Yes, it is also an outlet for my thoughts, profound or not, and I have been enjoying the process of writing on here immensely. But first and foremost this is a photography blog, so sometimes it is okay to just have a post about a photo. I don’t always have to have something profound, witty, or even interesting to go along with it. Sometimes a picture should just speak for itself. So here is a photo that I love. I think it is beautiful and dramatic. It makes me smile, but it isn’t overly sappy. It exudes a sense that if you stare at it long enough you might learn something, but that something will not be captured in my words here. So I hope this picture says something to you as well.