Death by Cold

Winter Landscape, with Rooks
Sylvia Plath

Water in the millrace, through a sluice of stone,
 plunges headlong into that black pond
where, absurd and out-of-season, a single swan
 floats caste as snow, taunting the clouded mind
which hungers to haul the white reflection down.

The austere sun descends above the fen,
 an orange cyclops-eye, scorning to look
longer on this landscape of chagrin;
 feathered dark in thought, I stalk like a rook,
brooding as the winter night comes on.

Last summer's reeds are all engraved in ice
 as is your image in my eye dry frost
glazes the window of my hurt; what solace
 can be struck from rock to make heart's waste
grow green again? Who'd walk in this bleak place?

It is May 29th and it is snowing. I just love Alberta weather (note the intense sarcasm). I am a naturally chilly person most of the time and my parents' house isn't exactly the warmest place in the world so I have been freezing cold all day. I'm decently warm right now because I am sitting on my bed wrapped in a fuzzy blanket with my laptop producing heat. I've basically been drinking tea non-stop all day in an effort to stay warm. My hands are still cold though. The snow/rain combo thing and the cold have made me kind of...I don't know exactly how to describe it. I just get into my own head and things become kind of...off. It's kind of like being upset about something without knowing what you are upset about. If you've lived with me you probably have witnessed these moods multiple times and know what I'm talking about. Some days I just get into this mental space and can't quite pull myself out. Now this isn't always a problem, but when it is compounded by bad weather or something not working out or tons of stress or something, it can become downright unpleasant, especially for those around me. Anyway, that is kind of the head space I am in today. Whenever I get like this I have the urge to read Sylvia Plath. I know that may be disturbing for some people, but honestly it isn't. She just has an incredible ability to capture raw and intense emotions in words. So, I picked up my trusty copy of The Collected Poems: Sylvia Plath, which I hunted for for quite a long time before finally finding a copy in Munro's in Victoria (a GLORIOUS bookstore), and "Winter Landscape, with Rooks" seemed appropriate for today's weather and my mental state. I love the line "Last summer's reeds are all engraved in ice". There is something about it that seems appropriate for a May snowstorm. And "feathered dark in thought" seems to capture the brooding quality of my state of mind right now.

I took this picture on choir tour a couple of years ago. We stopped in Waterton, but because it was still the end of April it was still cold enough for there to be some snow around and the lake to be all icy. These were the sweet ice formations along the shoreline. I think they are pretty awesome.

I hope all of you who are Albertans are staying warm in this freaky weather!